Fear and the Power of Story: Toothless, Hiccup, Dragons, Me and You

Fear and the Power of Story: Toothless, Hiccup, Dragons, Me and You

“The idea that we’re “wired for story” is more than a catchy phrase. Neuroeconomist Paul Zak has found that hearing a story—a narrative with a beginning, middle, and end—causes our brains to release cortisol and oxytocin. These chemicals trigger the uniquely human abilities to connect, empathize, and make meaning. Story is literally in our DNA.”

― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.

I just sat down with my four grandchildren and their parents to watch a great story, the 2025 version of the movie "How to Train Your Dragon," the live-action adaptation of the 2010 animated film, both written and directed by Dean DeBlois, based on the books by Cressida Cowell. We all loved it.

Yes, there are spoilers in here so be aware. This story has been out for fifteen years, so people know it. Even if you’ve seen it, I urge you to watch it again, this version.

It Is A Movie For Our Time

There is so much to be afraid of in the Viking village of Berk, the setting for the story. Hiccup is the son of the Chieftain, Stoick the Vast, and unlike his dad, he is not vast. He is thin and what any self-respecting Viking would consider a weakling. This is embarrassing to the Chieftain, who wants a manly, strong son. Hiccup is mocked by his dad, his peers, and the entire village. He is different.

Berk has a big problem. It is often beset by dragons. They fly in from afar and steal livestock and sometimes kill people, causing chaos and destruction in general and instilling great fear among Berk’s inhabitants. Just imagine, going to sleep worrying that a dragon might land on your roof overnight and grab your child, or set fire to things and destroy your entire village.

Stoick and his clan vow revenge and set out to find the dragons’ nest and kill them all. Meanwhile, Hiccup is attending the village school that teaches the teenagers of Berk how to fight and kill dragons. The Viking culture in Berk demands that children learn how to fight dragons and then kill one as a coming-of-age ritual to prove that one is a real Viking. He fails miserably in school, as you might expect, and again is ridiculed by his classmates and by his one-legged teacher (yes, it was bitten off by a dragon), Gobber the Belch. (Honestly, you could just watch this film for the sheer enjoyment of hearing these names!)

Fear In Our Global Village

I bet you would agree that there is so much to be afraid of in our real global village, too. Where to even begin? It wouldn't be a dragon, but many across our planet fear a bomb dropping on their roof at night. We fear fires and floods that have already destroyed so much and killed many. Strongmen leading their countries demand retribution and vengeance for what they see as forces trying to destroy their current culture and themselves. There is a prevalent “Viking-like” atmosphere that still claims: being strong is good; don’t show weakness or vulnerability; be manly and tough. People who don’t fit into this macho ideal are mocked or sidelined for being 'different, just like Hiccup. 

We’re not battling dragons, but facing many other “entities”: other countries, cultures, and people who believe differently from us, have different values, and behaviors. There is so much conflict in today’s world. And because we have a much broader view of things—thanks to our interconnected, internet-based world—compared to the Vikings of the film (who only had what they could see), the impact of all these conflicts is magnified, overwhelming, and awful.  

The Vikings Do What They’ve Been Taught To Do

They choose the only response they’ve ever known. We, too, follow what we’ve been taught, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes consciously. We learn to fear those different from us at an early age. We bully and mock. We work to build bigger weapons to show our strength. It’s “the way of the world”, we say. We do this to survive.

Interestingly enough, Hiccup changes the course of events. Hiccup has a different approach from his big and powerful dad. An event occurs that opens his eyes and heart to seeing dragons in a new light. He leads with compassion and curiosity instead of hate and defensiveness. It transforms everything for him (and for the dragon, Toothless). This causes a ripple effect in his community. A significant ripple effect. It changes the village and everyone in it — for the better.

The Ripple Effect Is Real

Compassion. Seeing “the other” differently, viewing them “through the heart” rather than as a threat. I know what you’re thinking, Hiccup had a village to transform. We have a world.

What if each of us, in our own small lives and in our own “village,” started to find ways to lead with compassion? Our automatic response when we see someone different from us or holding different beliefs or values might be derision, but could we learn to replace it with something positive? We could open our eyes to our culturally ingrained habits and begin acting differently. We could find some bit of compassion within ourselves to lean into instead.

As I write this and think of my audience, that would be you, dear reader, I know I’m preaching to the choir. I’m fairly certain you already do this. But if you’re like me, you might forget or simply be too busy to take the time. (When I was in Dublin at the beginning of June, I passed a battered and bruised woman walking up a hill, pushing a walker and pausing to rest. I didn’t stop to offer her help. I told myself she’d decline it, that I’d probably embarrass her. I regret not offering. I could have tried.)

I’m sure some of you are thinking, Susanna, this is so unrealistic, impractical, tilting at windmills, like Don Quixote, chasing a completely unachievable goal. How can our small actions change the world?

Who Believes In Dragons Anyway?

It very well might be silly to think of this as a teaching story for today. This is a fairytale story, after all. 

Well, I believe in dragons. I believe they live in us. They don’t fly, but symbolically deter us by sitting on our “treasure” (our potential, our gifts) because they want to protect and defend us. They keep us fearful, like the dragons in the film. They are hoarders, like Smaug in Tolkien’s The Hobbit, guarding his pile of jewels. When I teach about dragons in my Heroine’s Journey work, I don’t talk about slaying them or confronting them; I talk about understanding them. How to Understand Your Dragon is my approach, which is just what Hiccup does. He learns to understand Toothless.

Heroines realize that their Dragons simply want to communicate and be understood. Before we reveal them, our inner Dragons influence our fears. Early on, they plant beliefs that something is scary or unsafe, so when we encounter a situation that triggers these initial fears, they emerge and stop us from moving forward. Often, these early beliefs are mistaken for guidance that we should always follow. We learn them from our parents and rarely question them. 

That woman in Dublin was very different, scary even.

Do you know the song You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught from the musical South Pacific, lyrics by William Tabbert? These are the original lyrics. Rogers and Hammerstein just used the first three stanzas.

It Takes Courage To Look Within And Discover How Our Dragon(s) Hinder Our Full Growth

Often, those dragons are just reiterating what we’ve been “carefully taught.” We need to shine a light on them and befriend them so they can work with us, just like Hiccup did with Toothless. 

I’m so grateful we could sit on the couch in our family room that day and watch How to Train Your Dragon together. We are truly wired for story, as Brene Brown writes in that introductory quote. I could talk to these four wonderful kids about how it’s important not to jump to conclusions about people, about finding compassion for others, and not letting fear stop them, but Hiccup, Toothless and the people of Berk do it so much better than I ever could.

Cressida Cowell, author of How to Train a Dragon, wrote many books about dragons. Here’s the perfect quote for me to end with:

“However small we are, we should always fight for what we believe to be right. And I don’t mean fight with the power of our fists or the power of our swords…I mean the power of our brains and our thoughts and our dreams.

And as small and quiet and unimportant as our fighting may look, perhaps we might all work together…and break out of the prisons of our own making. Perhaps we might be able to keep this fierce and beautiful world of ours as free for all of us as it seemed to be on that blue afternoon of my childhood.”
― Cressida Cowell, How to Speak Dragonese